Saturday, April 16, 2011

Gratitude

When I first sat down to write this entry my face was still damp from tears spent in a moment of exhaustion and frustration.  I was straightening the dining room table when one of my slips of note paper fell to the floor - the only word written on it was sacrifice.

sacrifice n a voluntary giving up of something valued

This is a very popular word in the military community. I am thanked for it at every event I attend, no matter how big or how small, if my husband is with me or not... but having read the actual definition I believe they may be right in thanking him for whatever sacrifices he makes for them but me?  They should probably stop because I didn't do any of this voluntarily.  Nobody asked me.

Anyhow...

I stopped writing (and crying) (and being mad at the whole universe) up there at "Anyhow..." and stomped off with a book and a trusty jar of lavender bubble bath.

And I soaked...

             ...and I soaked,

and I soaked,

       and I thought about things...

and I soaked,

then...

  Then...

...Then, I decided

-perhaps-

 I've been looking at this from the wrong direction entirely.

As a mother and a teacher I have spent many hours extolling why one should be grateful for what is being offered to them rather than ask why they didn't receive something else.  I actually refer to it as "The Fine Art of Practicing Appreciation."

And yet...  here I am focusing on what I don't have - what I will never, ever have because I made a promise to someone.  A promise that I meant, whole-heartedly - that spending the rest of forever with him was more important than where I lived or where I worked.

I ought to be practicing The Fine Art of Appreciation.

(because I really am blessed)

appreciate v 1esteem highly; value 2 be grateful for

gratitude n being thankful; appreciation


First of all, there's this guy...


He lead to this girl...

Before the guy and the sweet cheeked baby there were...


and I could (and still can) count on someone to do things like this...


The crazy, amazing, miniature version of me has a baby of her own...

(she puts him in dresses)


I've got a guy who sends me presents for absolutely no reason...


Even though I've already worked in three different schools, every single one of them has made me smile and laugh and feel right at home...probably because they've been filled with people like this...


And last for today, I live in a place where the sun sets on the sand and the water...  



It isn't fair to expect my children to be grateful and appreciative if I'm not giving them a model in which to follow (and I have so much to be grateful and appreciative of).


"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11 NIV

I believe it isn't too late.  I can still learn so I will.

Love,
me

2 comments:

wendlyn said...

very, very, very well spoken. Sometimes we just have to "stop" "look" and "listen" (yes I totally stole that from the railroad) but I think it applies.

Sarah said...

I needed to read this today!