It's pink with a monochromatic screen and he gave it to me for Christmas. The first songs it ever played were Jimmy Buffet, Uncle Cracker, and Kanye...
It's Ruth's now and every night I click through songs without thinking until Laurie Berkner sings. Every night except tonight. Tonight I was distracted and as I kissed Ruth goodnight I realized Imogen Heap was singing to me.
One misclick of a button and a familiar yet forgotten song was all it took to take me back three...maybe four years.
Midnight walks through the neighborhood I thought I'd raise Ruth in.
Tickling two year old toes under stars we'd named and given stories to.
. . .
And you know what?
I miss things.
I miss the laughter of my class on the playground. I miss playing tag and swinging next to all the tiny kids.
I miss wishing on stars.
I miss the endless possibilities of my three year old's imagination.
I miss the Christmas lights in Bradfield Village.
And I wonder when I'll finally feel like this is home and I fit in.